Thursday entry: Healing

It has been one week since my surgery and things are going a lot better than they were. The only problem I have now is that my mouth permanently smells like raw flesh, no matter how many times I brush (lightly), gargle, or binge on peppermints. When I compare the state I am now, to the sad, incapable being I was last week at my parents’ house, I am amazed at the body’s ability to heal itself. I do believe a lot of that physical strength, however, comes from willpower and emotional support (My mother has been living with me in Richmond since the start of classes this week to take care of me and “prevent my relapse.” I feel it is a slightly displaced, but tremendously comforting, slumber party method of treatment that has been rather successful, because I feel great).

Anyway, this idea of revival or rejuvenation can definitely be applied to the way we make our ideas come to life. Being in a constant funk about money troubles and working too much will only sustain the momentum of all of that negative drudgery. The tools of my craft and I have a complicated relationship, sometimes exhibiting periods of silence and shameful avoidance; but I have picked up my camera again and feel ready to embark on projects of the past, and work to expand my knowledge on more Stuff, essentially. Perhaps this feeling of pro-activism will be short-lived, no doubt it is, but that is just another reason to give appreciation to those down times, of eating vanilla yogurt and Vicodin for 4 days straight and wanting to never wake up. I’m glad it’s over, because now I have a place to start.