Within the first twenty four hours of leaving that apartment and emerging into the daylight, back into the realness of the world where its brightness makes all that is charming seem stupid, all that is beautiful dirty, I felt invincible and awake, as pure as a baby but far more intelligent. It was one of the few moments that left a mark of its presence, a reminder that I had truly lived. The reason I was sure of it was because there were no words left, only feelings only memories replaying like a fantasy or a good dream worth preserving. Anytime something legendary occurs in our painfully ordinary lives, the minutes and days that follow become so precious and vital to the permanence of its memory. Every passing second is an opportunity for the mind to play tricks or go astray, carelessly tarnishing the golden unreal. Initially I felt untouchable, and with time I harvested shame but all around I feel stronger and pleased with my discoveries. Out of the many things in life that cause worry: fear of not being accepted, death, separation, love -- the minute I let go and accepted the absurd was the minute I found beauty and I wanted to live in it forever.